but i am grateful today. i will tell you why.
because this type 1, this beast i thought was going to be the thing that got me, this frustrating set of numbers and feelings and lines and doses and cold spikes that have injected themselves into my daily life have taught me something:
i can live!
i look around and know that i am alive in a way that i cannot describe.
my dearest friends and i were at the indigo girls concert last night at our local zoo, and i was looking around at all of the people there. of course, everyone was filling up on carbs. haha.
but it made me listen more. laugh more. pay attention to the fact that i have everything i need now. i can taste everything in a way i never did. i can smell everything ever more deeply. my dreams and hopes mean something more than a goal on the timeline of my life. in some ways, this 'disease' has become my daily reminder that i am not promised every day if i am unkind to my body. unlike most people who think their bad habits will never catch up to them---even if it is only their bad mood---i know that i will reap what i sow.
and i want to sow seeds of joy and whole food and all of the promises i made to myself as a young adult that i would never, ever, ever, ever give up no matter what happened to me or what people thought of me.
so here i am. grateful as i have never been before that i can live and breathe and eat and laugh and laugh at a world full of beautiful people who can't get past themselves.
wake up! our pain is not so great as to forget to see the earth at our feet, the people in front of us that we may never get to meet again.