Friday, November 28, 2008

que comida? (what did you eat?)

for thanksgiving?  
i'd love to hear what people had, as i love food! 
i attempted to make some healthier versions of the traditional thanksgiving meal, but as many who know me can tell you: i love to make eclectic menus!
here's what we made: 

-citrus cilantro roasted turkey (sweetened with agave nectar)
-mashed roots (rutabaga, potato, celery root)
-curried sweet potatoes
-cardamom roasted carrots
-garlic parsley green beans
-organic stuffing
-pumpkin pie (matthew's mum's is amazing)

let me just tell you: my sugar did so well!  i kinda overdosed a bit, honestly, but you know how it goes: ah!  gotta make i think it was those wonderful little mashed roots instead of full-blown potatoes, and of course protein mixed in with it all (turkey has a whopping 47grams per serving!) really helps you to burn your carbohydrate fuel slowly.

what a yummy day!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

keep it simple~

when i say in my list "whatever it is, it's not that complicated" i mean that we need to learn to keep it simple.  that life, as complicated as it is, is pretty straight forward.  some things cannot be negotiated, but all can be dealt with. 
i am grateful for the small things, because it is this that makes up the stuff of our lives; the most important parts.
i keep a gratitude journal.  i don't know who told me to do it, but someone did a few years ago when i was getting out of the military.  it has helped me through so much, because at the end of the day, i look into my comings and goings and always find something to be grateful about.  we have to.  sometimes i tell myself there's nothing to be grateful about, especially when life hands you lemons, or worse: people you thought cared about you hand you those lemons!  then it's not just abstract or nonspecific...
this can be so difficult at times, like the day i was diagnosed with type 1, but i must tell you, it hit me so hard that it was a gift to become the healthiest gal i can ever be, and therefore reach out to those with diabetes that i can someday help as a physician.
we can connect to others' joy and pain better when we are grateful, even for the small things. 
happy thanksgiving,
much love and peace, 

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

name a disease that's been cured~

i've been thinking lately about cures.  
not just for type 1 (that one being my personal favorite, haha) but in general.  
unfortunately, i have yet to find one that has been cured.  some say smallpox, however, most diseases have been eradicated by vaccine, not technically cured once one has 'contracted' it.  this is why i'm starting to think 'they' (the great researchers we are all depending on) have invested so much in the idea of preventing type 1's onset in the first place through vaccine.
could you imagine that, though?  how many vaccines are we gonna subject our kids to?  i think in some people's minds, it is the only way, since (i theorize) we've never actually found a cure for anything. 
i am grateful our disease is manageable, though.  while letting it go would have led to me to a slow and painful death, many diseases that become 'managed' (i.e., the aftereffects of severe scarlet fever) have long-term results that effect one for life in a way that is unmanageable.  that really breaks my heart.  
so we watch and wait, but birdy's not holding her breath.  now i'm just waiting for my damn ankle to heal so can run again! 

Monday, November 24, 2008

poetry: dr.field, my mentor professor~

when i go to see dr. field he tells me
he believes in me,
that a lot is invested in me, 
that it's not going away.
this is it, he says.
this is my life now, i think. 
but he tells me that the point where my goals actualize into something
will happen; 
he shows me this with his hands, 
always talking with his hands, clasping them, 
showing me with his fingers moving like a river over the other.
he tells me i'm brilliant, 
that there are people whose hearts are with me, 
"because you of all people, 
had to deal with this thing;
of all the mundane things to have to deal with:
he is right, it is mundane.  
and that is what most people will never understand. 
we both tear up, looking away for a moment.
i take my hat off, 
feeling the static electricity coming off the ends of my black hair.
i think of walt whitman, 
the body electric.
and i remember why i am here. 
that i can stand up and walk out of his office, 
awake, electrified.
that i can move, one foot in front of the other, if it is all i can do at times.
that i am moving forward, 
even as the river seems to move past me, 
i am a part of it,

Sunday, November 23, 2008

can they just make pancreatic bandages?

this year seriously just needs to end.
i have never broken a bone in my life, nor twisted or sprained or torn or well, you get the picture...anything.
now, while some of you may smirk and say, "hmm, well maybe you've lived a safe life.'
uh, no. actually, let's make that a very loud NO!
i've served in the military, love hiking and backpacking, been to africa, love to run. 
so here i am, at this point in the year---thanksgiving---ya, i'm tryin' to be thankful despite how seriously crappy certain things have gone.  such as, getting sick in january, watching my body outside of myself until march came and i got diagnosed with type 1.  then, i spent my summer recuperating marvelously, got back into my running injuries.  dealt with a crazy semester, moved, having to continuously deal with nutty people...*sigh.*  
so then, yesterday, i'm like moving...nothing items, and tadah!  my left ankle starts hurting.
but, just like all things health-wise, my first reaction always is that i'll take care of it myself.
but today, oh man, today i can't even put weight on it.  sprain.
but you know how it goes with diabetes, people's eyes bug outta their heads and...
"OHMYGOD, but it's your foot we're talking about!!!"
so now it's hitting me all.over.again.
this annoying little beast in my life, this little flea that won't leave my little-peabody-pancreas alone affects me in the most mundane ways (as if the ability to eat food and process it is not mundane enough...)
if only i could wrap peabody in an ace bandage and he could get strong enough to fight off my immune system's conniving little attacks then maybe, just maybe, when i get a sprained ankle, i wouldn't have to always get it checked out right away like it was the end of ...well, my foot.
god, everything, you know?  it becomes about everything. 

Thursday, November 20, 2008

hilariously motivating~

you must read this.   this guy's story about low blood sugar is great (ah-hem?!) but i also love his movement towards healthy living with type 1...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


saw a double boiler today. 
i really want to learn how to make candles and soap from scratch.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

dawn phenomenon~

perhaps more people can fill me in on the high morning numbers.  i've had several the last couple of weeks, not every single day, but i've also not had anything below 100 in a while.  i think i will go ahead and do the nighttime check on my early morning sugars to see if i'm rising due to growth hormones releasing, but i'm pretty frustrated.  i wonder if i can get some ideas about what to do to bring it down a bit; anything that has worked for people experiencing this?  especially women

Friday, November 14, 2008

"to live from love is to dry your face"

we must go on.
not only because we truly have no other choice, but because we actually can.
sometimes we just don't believe it.
we wallow in our own pain; confusion, even bliss.  we forget the big picture, that while we are merely a dot of paint in the landscape, it would not be lovely without us.
this is why we matter; this is why everyone matters.
"when we live in depression or obsession, we have lost perspective... when this happens, it is hard for God, the great mother, to console us and to assure us that within the larger perspective, these heartaches and headaches too will pass and too will be eclipsed by perspectives beyond our present imagination and experience."

ronald rolheiser, against an infinite horizon.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


moving sucks!
and i couldn't find the little bag i'd put all my test strips in, yikes!  
but all is well now.
so much has happened since my last post, and there's so much i want to mention. 
however, my internet is still down and i wanted to start fresh with a quote from one of my favorite books ever: against an infinite horizon.
while it is a catholic book, it is a good book for anyone, in my little opinion.
so i'll leave you with that until i can finish my crazy week out and find the quote!