Tuesday, December 9, 2008

keep it tight/loosen up a little~

blood sugar, that is.  
well, i do hate standing up from inversions in yoga because it doesn't matter what pants you wear or how skinny your ass is, it always seems that...well, you get the idea.

as i was saying about "tight" (ah-hem): 
got my A1c back: it was 6%.  i actually had somebody say to me, "how tight are you trying to keep it?"  
wellwellwell.  let me just tell you; as tight as a baby needs it.  
(no, i am not pregnant.)
let me say that one more time: 
no, i am not pregnant.

but really, it got me thinking about how this battle is every. single. day.
*sigh*
"the bloodsugar battle."
you know what i'm talking about, the one where you're like, "OHMYGOD!! my numbers are soooooo bad!"
but then you look at them and realize that you just spent your whole day worrying about how they might be bad.
then you get your A1c back and maybe it was good, maybe it was not. but hey, you're still kickin', right?  so no, it couldn't have been as bad as you thought.
so it's not only about battling the hectic daily lives we all lead, and keeping good control in the mathematical, quantitative, physical sense, but on some level - more importantly - lightening the hell up about the 'blood sugar battle' going on emotionally in ourselves. 
that's me in a nut shell.  

now, i realize i'm only about 9 months into this disease (i'm about to give birth to my diababy blues!) no really, i'm still watching my endogenous function go bye-bye, right?
but i also have realized that this is really it.
i read some awesome advice the other day about 'diabetes burn out' and how to avoid it; how to make life worth all of the little things it is so worth (cause it is, like, duh).
it was pretty straightforward advice---you've heard it before to be sure, so don't hassle me about its lack of originality, haha. 
but the truth is my friends, we all need to learn to leave good enough alone. 
you got the number.  it was only a number. fix it high or low. take a long look at that beautiful face of yours and go celebrate. 

because ya, maybe your immune system decided to do 'operation  pancreatic freedom' on that little organ beneath your stomach and small intestine, but you are not your pancreas.  and neither is your life, because it's yours and no one else is livin' it.  our own, unique, individual lives:  no one can ever take that away. 


1 comment:

Lisa said...

Amen! Thanks Emily...I needed to hear that today.
-Lisa