i know, everyone tells me "once you get on the pump, you'll wonder how you ever lived without it."
but to be hooked up like that picture you see there....i'm not there yet.
ya, it's not that bad, but to me, it's that bad:
cyborgish, in a sense. that's how much i shut down when it's suggested by my endo and my cde.
in medtronic and animas' ads they're all like, "on one side you've got your pump infusing insulin, on the other, you've got your continuous glucose monitor checking your blood sugar every minute." hmmm, not so much, i say. sorry, just not feeling the "excitement!!"
but this technology that would be attached to me (helping me no doubt)...i'm still not ready for it.
and believe me, this has nothing to do with vanity.
to be honest, i'm not having any real problems: my last A1c was great, i manage my highs and lows well. but i've gotta tell ya, exercising and eating certain foods and the monitoring that goes with staying on top of that is certainly frustrating. but i'm fighting the pump because like Dee, my sweet diabetes educator said, "when you go on the pump, i think that's when it really hits you that you've got it." on some level, i'm still associating the pump with imprisonment by my disease, and yet all the info out there---including from members of the online diabetes community---say it's what frees you.
but i'm not there yet.
someday, to be sure, i will be. i've always been a gal who adapts well: i take my time, think things through, really ruminate my thoughts and feelings. never been rushed or easily pressured. i just do my thing. because when i make a decision, i am strong and devoted to giving it my best shot. and honestly, that's all that's going on here.
so for now, it's just me and peabody and my needles and insulin vials, without any other friends along for the uh, already crazy ride.