the last of my endogenous beta cell function is so officially gone now.
man, dawn phenomenon has been really, really fun. and of course, the cortisol i must be releasing due to taking over full-time summer classes has really helped the insulin resistance.
i know, i need to stop complaining. my everyday averages are still holding at what comes out to about 6.2% for my A1c, but you know how it goes when you see the averages increasing...increasing...increasing.
this is not a very positive post!
but you know what?
on a positive note (LOL)
it really hit me this summer how much more aware of my body i am---in a way that most will never be:
diabetes teaches you when to say when.
and i used to live like that was a bad thing! it was always,
and ya, it feels pretty pathetic sometimes to admit that this disease came into my life, affecting every thing i put into my mouth, every stresser i experience, every exercise activity i participate in...and more, but the truth is, i've learned to be kinder to myself. to be grateful for how much more i am aware of what goes into my body, what i allow to affect me, and in reality; just how far i can push myself in ways i never knew i could.
we live in a culture that does not know how to walk the fine line between being kind to oneself and pushing oneself. people seem to be one extreme or the other.
i think having diabetes has taught me how to walk this fine line i myself crossed one too many times before i got diagnosed. a sad way to learn, and man, did i learn it this summer!
i know it wasn't a punishment.
rather, i try to look at it as a very strange, serendipitous.... opportunity.