i'll just state the facts:
i felt drained.
so lately i'd been really contemplating my emotional state with this disease and also many other futuristically-inclined thoughts...like fertility and children and type 1 diabetes and natural birth.
(ya, don't freak out. you must know by now i'm a healthnut, right?)
so i first started thinking about balance. (i'll get into what i'm learning about birth options/advocacy in other posts.) for now though, i felt like i lacked some of that good balance-stuff.
yesterday i saw an acupuncturist for the first time in a long while and while i found her to be a person unaware of what exactly type 1 is (autoimmune, here we go again) i think all of the meridian points she chose to address really did some good. my sugars are usually in good balance with a good A1c, but we all know that test is just a little bit problematic (standard deviation, anyone?)
but i've barely needed any insulin today. the only reason i think it's related to my appointment yesterday is that i usually need to start increasing my doses a bit as i head towards ovulation, and i'm not. it went down. weird. you can laugh if you want, but i think there's a direct correlation.
i actually saw her for stress and to just 'open' myself as we begin to try to start our family---in the next year. preparation. paranoia. preventive medicine. call it what you like, i just want to be the healthiest i can be when we go down that road.
i've always had a soft spot for chinese medicine ever since i took my first course in massage therapy school. it helped that it was taught by a super-genius-amazing-integrative DOM (doctor of oriental medicine.) she really had a way of explaining things from both the western and eastern perspectives. i still feel the memory of how that class blew me away, even with how much i've learned on my own since taking it. and it's still a profession i consider, even while being completely dependent upon western medicine---which i love and appreciate (thank you, frederick banting!) ah, the reality behind true integrative healthcare; what wonders it works! i'd love to be that person to people someday.
but for now, for the first time, i'm taking care of me. it's even hard for me to say those words. i feel selfish just saying them. but i know that i can't really help others if i'm not in a good place myself, and right now in my life i'm trying to address some of those deep desires (like children) and family (of my own, with no 'conditional love', like the family i was raised in) and making good, whole foods for those i love.
i guess what i'm trying to get at is, if you can do just some small, holistically focused health care for yourself, try it. get a massage--even if only once a month (i've plenty of clients who can only afford it this often) or a good belly-breathing session, or seeing an acupuncturist. it really makes you zone-in, instead of out, so that you can be introspective and slow down and balance out. your thoughts become clearer, and i promise it will even have wholesome physiological effects.