Thursday, October 29, 2009

ze pump is IN~

this is my picture of me with my little green pump on the very first day.
sorry, i couldn't resist. ;)
and uh ya, the tegaderm is huge!
the cde is ordering some tiny tegaderms for me. she laughed and said, "clearly, we need a smaller tegaderm. you're so tiny!"
but it's all very exciting!
i only had a weeeeee bit of trouble getting the sticky-tape-hand-maneuver-hold-the-cannula-down-while-removing-the-needle part down, but i think it was just because i had two cde's and the pump trainer watching me (!) it was just like when i was a medic doing iv's...honestly, only smaller and kinder and not vein-oriented. and i liked the "tender" insertion set they ordered. it's just like the 'silhouette'.
so i went straight home to have some lunch and you wanna hear something funny? i actually had a moment where i started reaching for a needle and felt something along the lines of...anger? like, sigh, more injections. it was all very subconscious and momentary. but the moment was certainly there! (so i guess i've been even more ready for this than i thought.)
then i grinned and reached for my pump.
to be sure i'll have days where i say this thing has got to go but it's so great to think that sometime in the near future i'll understand it, and we can start trying for a bebe next year!! [cross your fingers!]
it's been so frustrating the last couple of months, especially. my diet's pretty low-glycemic, so keeping-up-with-my-lentils had become a tortoise-and-the-hare kind of race. when's it coming? should i take more? should i have taken less? how much do i have left? am i going higher or lower?!
today my post-prandial was about 165. just yesterday i would've sat there pondering if i needed more insulin to fix it. today, i could look at my insulin-on-board still and know that another.whole.unit was still on its way.
the best part?
my a1c came back this morning at an even 6%.
i know i've got a learning curve ahead of that requires a lot of patience, but still:
it can only get better from here. ;)

Saturday, October 24, 2009

natural, sugar free pancakes~

so the other day we went to our local (no kidding, it really is locally-owned: yipeeeeee!) grocery store. i'm always willing to at least skim the nutritional information of [often so-called] sugar free products until i find my usual long list of disappointing ingredients to include but not limited to: maltitol, sucralose, soy protein, etc. more on my issues with these things later. but for now, the good news.
matthew (my partner) found this pancake mix. it's from "maple grove farms" and at first, i was like, yaaaaaaaaaa right! but like i said, i always obligingly look.
not bad at all: wheat gluten, corn starch, unbleached wheat flour, whey protein, leavening, salt, and 'natural flavor' (whatever the hell that means, right?)
so it comes out to about 2 small/medium pancakes a person with only about 8 carbs per pancake (you read that right). it says 'only 6 net carbs' because of the fiber subtraction, but we figured we made the pancakes a bit bigger. also, we like them very thin, so you may want to take that into account if you like thick 'cakes. by the way, no they do not taste like cardboard. matthew, my ever-honest-type 3-diabetic so kindly stated, "ya know, they taste just like whole-wheat pancakes!"
next time we're having the organic apple sausage from applegate farms, and voila! our breakfast will be gourmet stupendous!
but what about syrup, you ask?
well, first i must say i am appalled at the amount of carbohydrate in syrup; yes, even organic, all natural: 56 grams per 1/4 cup [scream!] pancakes are like, the out of the out breakfast option for me. adding even an 1/8 of a cup to already carb-coma-inducing pancakes sounds like pancreatic hell and i just can't justify putting peabody through that mess. think of your children, people! ;)
so we found a different option:
enter maple butter.
i found this stuff at the same grocer, it's from "shady maple farms". the best part is it's organic! and it's only about $3! it'll last forever too, because you barely need any. just be sure to put it on right when the pancake comes off the griddle or else it doesn't spread and melt as yummily.
mmmm, this stuff is amazing! for a big fat tablespoon, you get the same taste for 16 grams of carb. ok, i know it's not runny and fun like syrup, but the taste is swonderful and let me tell you, when you add up all the carbs you're eating: about 48 (2 pancakes, 1 Tbsp butter) instead of say, 100+, trust me: your pancreas will thank you.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

the countdown~

i know i keep going on and on simply about getting my pump...(just getting it!) but i can't help myself. THIS IS NUTS!
i'm actually getting it next thursday!
i really have mixed emotions. and i know i keep saying that, too.
every time i see a person with one, my nerves are soothed. but the thought of it alone is like, what the hell am i doing?
i picture it as this HUGE THING attaching itself to MY ABDOMEN---maybe even talking and shit, like, "you will never be rid of me! i am going to grow too and take over your...elbows!"
[insert nervous hysterical laughter here.]
then i lighten up and realize my imagination has gone too far. again.
and yet, ironically, just as i am saying this, i've been having issues the last couple of weeks controlling my BG the way i usually can. it's not horrible, just averaging about 130, which is not great to me. i know, i know: COOL IT, birdy. a lot of it i've realized, is seasonal changes.
so i think about the pump as this tool that's going to help smooth out these rough edges i'm having. i know most of it is due to my not being able to do dual waves and extended bolusing. well, i try, but bolusing 3 units over a period of 5 hours is tedious, to say the least.
hey, it's green though and the hipness of that tiny fact comforts me. ;)

Friday, October 16, 2009

ze pump has entered ze building~

or left the building.
that's animas' factory, i'm saying.
so my CDE wrote me and said they're tentatively looking at October 29th to start my training.
i'm kinda nervous, guys!
i think i just learn and practice in the first session, and then the next time we actually do the first insertion site.
for some reason, i'm starting to get all jittery about this again.
there's a part of me that wants to say,
ok, this has been REAL fun, but i uh, changed my mind.
i know, i know.
and then i think of how annoying it's been to inject myself 10, 000 times a day.
and how impossible it is to eat an avocado with a piece of toast. bad combo.
i need to remind myself that i am not alone. that my hopes are huge for this because it's leading me somewhere better, more comfortable, flexible, and certainly healthier for any future pregnancies...

on a positive note, my work with refugees at catholic charities is going awesome. today we did massage on them; such beautiful people. their essential needs are being met, but it is so nice to also offer them some peace, lavender oil, and compassionate human touch.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

by the way~

i have no idea what went wrong with the font in that post below!
the proof is in the...yoghurt!!

some foods are so not peabody-friendly~

i literally have a fight with my breakfast every morning.
my stomach screams HUNGRY!
my BG screams TAKE IT EASY, SISTA!
i'm lucky though, i don't struggle with dawn phenomenon. well, not really. as you all know, sometimes baby D loves to kick us in the pants, though.
anywho, my point is that i can't really eat a carb-heavy meal for breakfast because i will seriously pay for it around 10 o'clock with something in the oh, let's say...200's?
this means, all the pancakers, waffle-eaters, french-toast-fiends can kiss my little ass (this is all due to jealousy, of course).
well, i could just eat a waffle for lunch and then go for a hike, right? might not be a bad idea!
like this morning. i tried yoghurt. again.
non-fat. cherry vanilla. 20 grams of carbs.
like clockwork (well, it is clockwork) two hours later, i check (sometimes earlier!):
what the heck is in this yoghurt?! straight glucose?
hello, i'm peabody the pancreas. i do not recognize insulin that wants to assist in the processing of yoghurt products currently at this time. please try again later.
so i fix it.
but the problem is (i know, i knoooooow) i've got it down with having a small piece of fruit (peach, nectarine, grapes) and a handful of almonds. toast won't cut it, even oatmeal was too much for me. this is so weird!
2 units. 2 hours. perfect 100.
here's my problemo, chicos:
but then i think:
what about the third world?
those people don't complain about what they eat for breakfast everyday. i've met them. they don't even always get breakfast everyday! (i'm being serious here! so not funny!)
i'm thinking i'll give a boiled egg a try. i like boiled eggs. but i need a little carb to go with it! and fruit and eggs? bleh.
there goes my picky-american-type-1-but-more-than-surviving-and-thriving-mentality again.