Sunday, March 21, 2010

wayward travels~

So the guy and I are headed to Arizona this week---only one state away from here. While I'm excited about this trip (we love being outside hiking, camping...) I'm also nervous. Last year we went to Seattle (I was still on injections though, mind you) and while I didn't have absolutely terrible numbers, I do remember having a hard time because it seemed like my basals were off. Heavy on the corrections. Then again, I was on Lantus...when is your basal ever right with Lantus? ;)
All of the literature out there says that going west is easy because you're gaining hours and just cover for it. Apparently going east is the worst. Any advice for how to make traveling a smoother transition when you're on the pump and do have the option to fiddle with your basals a bit?
I'm just a bit sad of late because my first post-pump A1c is coming up and it seems like a dreaded exam. I work so hard to keep my numbers in check with this disease and I just can't get a break on my averages ever since going on the Ping. I mean, I love the pump: it's made my quality of life easier and better, I love being able to turn my basals up and down according to activity or place in my cycle, and the wave patterns, while I'm still figuring them out, make me a happy camper (post-topic pun intended) :)
But my work has more than the I'm-trying-to-stay-healthy-for-my-own-sake purpose now. I'm trying to get my numbers back in check to plan for a baby, for pete's (who's pete, anyway?) sake. And it's stressful. And everyday, the harder I try, the worse I seem to fail. Ok, that's not completely true. But after having a great week, my numbers suddenly blew up in my face. Again. I was so proud of myself! But that's always when the D-bomb explodes: BAM! Have a great day, Emily! I'm here to remind you that you will never have it easy!
I know it'll never be easy. There are easi-er days. But don't we all live for those days? I know I do. You know the ones: your 'type 1 stress' decreases, and just by nature of seeing those non-diabetic numbers pop up on your meter, your mood increases and you feel like twirling. Ok, maybe not twirling. Rock climbing, if that's what you do. :)
I don't mean to sound like a downer. It's just that a trip is supposed to be fun and exhilarating and refreshing...sometimes now, with this disease, it just feels like a whole lotta mess to plan, you know?
Well, enough of that. BLEH!
I'm hoping this time outside will have a positive effect. Lots of sunshine, hiking, visiting friends, seeing my first saguaro cactus....did you know it takes them hundreds of years to get so tall? They work so long and so hard to become what they are: elegant, tall, reaching for the sun above and the moisture below. Often pocked and scratched and scathed, their limbs tell a story.
We weather the storm, folks. We can always weather the storm.


Jim Huck said...

I hope the trip was wonderful. My mom and sister live in Arizona, so I get down there every so often. Great place to camp.

Please don't take this wrong, but I am SO glad I don't have to plan for a baby. Talk about adding a complicated variable.

I mean...I can manage type 1 for 5 days at a time, but I don't stress too much when I decide to take a break and eat a bag of chips or something. That's usually what weekends are for. But with a baby, I suppose there aren't opportunities for a break.

Best wishes. You'll do it,,,and I'll be rooting for you!

birdy said...

no offense taken at all, huck. your words are always so comforting. i learn so much from folks who've had it since they were kids or teens. i guess we'll all always be learning though, eh? ;)
ya, i agree, the 5 day management thing is about all i can get at a time, too, haha. then something happens--like a change in the cycle pattern or a family dinner. or i just want the damn cookie, LOL!

thanks for the support; it really, really means a lot. ;)

Anonymous said...

AZ is so lovely. Getting out of town always gives me so much joy. You will be fine in babyland! ( I know the stress - I used to say I had infertility induced psychosis.) But you will get pregnant, and it will be wonderful. And then he will end up as a 5'9" 14 year old boy in his bedroom screaming at people playing Xbox live. Oh wait, maybe that is just my life. And even though they kind of smell (a good thing - keeps girls away), and they start yelling everytime you tell them to feed the dogs, they are the most wonderful creatures you have ever seen. Especially when they are asleep.

Scott K. Johnson said...

This is a great post. I'm late in reading/commenting, so I'm sure you've already returned from the trip.

I can totally identify with the frustration. I think a lot of it comes from us trying to "math" our diabetes into cooperating. We've got all these numbers and figures and ratios, but our bodies are not mathematical things - know what I mean?

All we can do is try the best we can, and not be too hard on ourselves when things don't equal out. :-)