Tuesday, April 6, 2010

oh, what a vacation can do~

So I didn't post about how my trip actually went. I won't go into the gory details (haha) but let's just say it rocked.
The entire time we were there, I struggled very little to keep my BG in check. AMAZING. There I was, all worried about the slight time change, and then suddenly it hit me that I just need a permanent vacation, haha.
*Ok, wait. There was one night where I stupidly crawled into the tent without juice but after having a snack because I was at about 80 with some insulin still left on board....DUMB. Let me tell you. Woke up in a cold sweat, shaking. But then, I went outside to get that damn juice box I forgot and guess what? Stars. I got a personal viewing of the night sky in a way I hadn't seen in years from living in the city. Maybe my low was meant to be. Or maybe I'm just delirious. :)
No really, it's amazing what a little camping does. I knew it would do that, deep down. It's like a mini D-cure whenever I camp. I did have to keep up with the snacking on some of the hikes (then it hit me that I hadn't been turning my basals down by 50% like I always do for intense exercise....duh.) Chalked it up to not paying attention and having such a blast hiking with my old buddy Martin (rock awesome human being!) and the in-laws, and of course, meeting Matthew's supersweet Grandma. I love grandmothers. But I like people at any age, especially the ages most people hate: toddlers, teenageers, and the elderly.
Matthew's been gently (ok, kicking my ass) lately about reducing my stress levels. He knows I'm freaking out about getting this whole pump-crazy-on-the-female-cycle-let's-not-even-mention-food-and-pregnancy- thing. I've also been dealing with some personal family stress the last year that's not been pleasant. But he's right. All a person can do is calm down and work on what you can and hope for the best in the journey. I'm giving it my all. I'm doing good work in my life: assisting military folks, refugees, and of course, providing massage therapy (i love helping folks, can you tell?) Sometimes, it really is just about letting go of all that bad stuff: the worry, the doubt, the what-ifs, the momentary failures...and just begin again.
So today I offered myself that. After doing my daily yoga routine (really great for your back and hips, I tell you) I went about my normal work of helping the refugees out and some health-intakes for military members in distress. Sometimes, I think part of my elevated BGs are a result of the work I do: helping so many people with very serious, immediate problems. I internalize too much. This is why I think I'd be a horrible social worker. Sigh. Anyway, my point is: in my mind, I was still mulling over all of this carefully-planning-a-family-stuff. I was still harboring worry. But I just tried to breathe and relax and enjoy this little life of mine....and realize that sometimes it's time to shut the hell up! You know? I just went about my normal routine and really worked at letting myself move through it all. That doesn't mean I detached myself, I just really let myself move through my day like light passes through a window.
And my blood sugar was awesome! Of course, it helps when I stay with my healthy-eating patterns, but it's very nice either way, right? To be reminded that yes, each day is a new day; no, I'm not dying of diabetic complications, and most importantly: this is my life and dammit, I'm living it to the fullest I can no matter what.

1 comment:

Scott K. Johnson said...

Fantastic! So glad that the vacation was so great!

I can only imagine the beauty of the stars out there without any city lights to interfere.